Many Americans follow The Oprah Show religiously. Thus, if you need instant public exposure to your cause, a sort of awareness, this is the way to go.
So, switch it on today, the “Dominican Sisters of Mary” will be Oprah’s special guest.
Mrs. Treasures Likes Netflix
We all know the criteria that makes a good movie. It gives us this “unexplained” feeling that we grew out of the experience.
This is what I felt when I watched “The Scarlet and the Black” starring Gregory Peck. I do not even want to give a nutshell of the movie. I’m afraid that I will not do justice to it by writing a movie review.
So, try out NETFLIX for 14 days. I do not regret signing up at all. I found great movies out there recommended by others.
Letter from Reader on Catholic Robinson Curriculum
Dear Mrs Treasures,
I have so much to say and not enough time to say it at once. God has used you as His instrument to give me HOPE today. Before I came onto your website, I was reading for the first time about Dr. Robinsons curriculum. I felt interested in it ,but just like you am Catholic and was concerned if his materials would contradict the teachings of our church. Please let me know how helpful his curriculum is for your children with A.D.D. i am presently homeschooling my two boys who both have been diagnosed with A.D.H.D. My boys are 11 years old and 13 years old. I have two older son’s who I sent to school and they went down a very bad road with their friends and they never graduated. I started off homeschooling them and I terribly regret that I never contilnued. I will do everything within my power and most importantly, with God’s power,grace and providence to teach our children and to not send them to school again,until they go to college. I was down today and have been for a while(but not despairing and feeling hopeless),but more than anything I feel alone,with no support around me,except my husband. My siblings and my mother do not support our homeschooling our kids and neither does my husband’s family support us at all. We are presently living with my sister-in-law in Canada,due to husband losing his job last year. When he lost his job,we lost everything,except our Faith! Materially we are poor. Spiritually we are rich! God allowed us to be stripped of everything in this world,so that we could change and grow closer to Him and to each other. please pray for my husband that he can get employment soon, in the states. We lived in Houston Texas before coming to Canada. My husband is going through a staffing agency to help him get a job. He is a Radiation Therapist. He also has a degree in Theology from the Franciscan University of Steubenville,so he could teach religion in a Catholic high school. It just does not pay very well. He would love to be able to teach Apologetics in the Catholic Church,but again it doesn’t usually pay well. . Thank you very much for your hopeful website and please let me know about Dr. Robinson’s curriculum. God bless you and your family!
Sincerely,
Diane Clarke
Mrs. Treasures writes:
Dear Diane,
Praise be to God, now and forever! Our parish priest taught his parishioners to give thanks to God when something good happens in our lives. I am thankful that you wrote me. It is amazing to look back at my life in the past two years. I was in the same situation as you are in right now. I had 7 children out of 9 in public school. God has given you the grace to have a knowledge of what will become of your children if you do not pull them out of public school.
I also had so many low moments too when I felt so unsure. There were too many unknowns. I could imagine how the enemy will torment you and convince you that home schooling your children will not work. It is for this reason that you should use the sacramental grace of your marriage to seek God’s help on how you are going to do it. You are so blessed to have a hubby who is solidly grounded on his Catholic faith. It is now clearly your vocation to follow God’s will on educating your children.
Majority of my children have the gift of “ADHD”. In other words, I am teaching my kiddos, whose brains work differently from mine, to learn how to self-study. Being in public school for most of their lives, it is very defeating sometimes. It is very difficult for them to get this approach to learning. I would suggest you read the book “How to Read a Book” by M. Adler. It explains how self-teaching is like allowing the books to teach your children. It is like a self-guided discovery. You have no one to ask but yourself to understand a book. The main thing I got from this book is about “Stretching your mind”… I taught my children not to be afraid to read books that are “over their heads”. According to Mr. Adler, this is the point when you are actually learning. You have to meet the author in his terms. This is the first complaint I heard from my ADHD kids “My head hurts…” Be ready to tell them, “Then, you are learning…”
So far, my children have enjoyed the book list of the Robinson Curriculum. The basis of his philosophy is the mastery of the “3 R’s first” before undertaking the huge task of studying the sciences and other practical arts subjects. I basically agree with this. However, I added another “R”. So, I am doing the “4 R’s” to include RELIGION (CATHOLIC STUDIES), wRiting (essays), Reading (literature), aRithmetic (mathematics).
I have researched all the Catholic home school providers and analyzed their book list. I am especially impressed with Angelicum Academy, Kolbe Academy, and SETON. For now, I will focus on the book lists of these 3 Catholic homeschool providers as the core subjects of our home school program.
You cannot imagine how God did the same thing to our family – strip me of the worldly non-essential things so I can focus on Him. Nevertheless, God knows what is in our hearts and God provided our family with all what we need. The Robinson Curriculum is very cost-effective. All his books are available for free online. Dr. Robinson will even give a scholarship to deserving families. For links, I would suggest you visit the following sites:
Rosegate Harbour - it will give you the books in sequential order and the exact link to the books online.
The Robinson Curriculum provided me a workable schedule so I can be free to do other stuff. We use 2 hours of Reading (literature), 1 hour of Reading (Catholic Bible, Catechism, Saints biography, Literature), 2 hours of Saxon Math, 1 hour of Essay. It is that simple.
On the Catholic literature, you might like to visit the following website to get free Catholic books:
Totally Free Catholic Literature
Free Catholic E-books - my personal favorite
Intellectual Catholic Booklist
I am also discovering G.K. Chesterton. He is now one of my favorite.
For your 11 and 13 year old, I would suggest you alternate reading a page in the first week of the RC book list. You might like to let them read C.S. Lewis Chronicles of Narnia. For the older kids Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings Trilogy was a hit in our family.
ADD children are very talented children. Do not allow them to quit but instead encourage them. Do not, for whatever reason, be stressed out if there are days that seem that they are dragging time. You just have to lovingly put them back to task. You must believe the philosophy though for you to stick to it.
We have just been doing RC for 9 months and it is not all “roses”. Yet, the children who are complying are growing by leaps and bounds. The cooperative children have advanced their reading level by two grade levels.
You have made the right decision to pull your children out of public school. Actually, I must admit, God directed us to make this decision for our children. I see many similarities with your circumstances and my family.
It will always be a challenge to raise children when the puberty hormones set in. Be patient.
You and your husband can literally kneel down to pray for this grace – the grace to raise Saints.
The hardest part is really to trust that this is not dependent on our capabilities… Trust God with all your heart, with all your mind.
God told it in my heart when I was praying in front of the Blessed Sacrament “not to worry about the shortcomings of the children” that means, their ADD and other emotional issues… we need just to make the path clear for our children to see Him, know Him, feel Him, hear Him, taste Him. He will take care of the rest.
Please email me if you have further questions.
I will pray for you and your family.
God Bless,
Mrs. Treasures
Borderline Personality Disorder and Drama
Emotional dysregulation gives birth to “drama” in the lives of those around Borderline Personality Disorder sufferers. It is an unpredictable theatrical display of emotions which is normal for them but too exaggerated for those who observe them from afar.
The most negative impact of this never ending drama is on the children. When their Borderline parent is having a very “sensitive” moment, the child witnesses the rage yet remains quiet. The child cannot overpower the emotions of his or her Borderline mother even if she or he wanted to. The child has to wait until the “rage” is over.
As the Borderline slowly vents out her steam down to an emotional plateau, she is oblivious to the effects of her drama to her child. The child cannot forget. In fact, the child internalizes these emotions and feels very disturbed. The child cannot scream back to his or her mother or let her know that her recent display of emotions frightened the child. Instead, the child buries it deep thinking that is the normal way to live.
The unpredictable drama in a child’s life will continue to haunt him when the child is alone or with other people. Since the child is unable to explain the inner disturbance, the child takes it all out “somewhere”. The child carries over the “drama” to school. Teachers and school authorities complain about the aggressive behavior of this child. Sometimes, the child’s peers feel manipulated. The child is not fun to be around anymore. The child exhibits aberrant and inconsistent behaviors, switching from sweet and clingy to demanding and arrogant.
When teachers reprimand this child, the child acts surprised. ”What did I do?” If the truth is explained to the child, the child zones out or the child becomes uncontrollable necessitating an intervention.
Over the years, the child will have a hard time to understand what are the appropriate behaviors in social situations. The unpredictability puts the child on survival mode. If prodded, the child will say “It’s unfair.” It could be the child’s teachers, bus driver, or friends. It is just a never-ending blame.
The lives of children with Borderline mothers are filled with dramas. No one can even imagine the “chaos” that these children must go through on a daily basis. “Chaos” is what will be normal for these children and what they will comfortably seek.
To make you aware of this disorder, review the following articles:
10 Ways to Handle a Difficult Ex ? Focus on Borderline Personality Disorder
The Scariest Aspect of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Mother’s Day and Borderline Personality Disorder: When Mom’s an Emotional Terrorist
How to Spot a Girl with Borderline Personality Disorder
Developmental Trauma Disorder: Next High-Profile Mental Health Issue
5 Tips to Deal with a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
9 Sings Your Girlfriend Might Have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Intermittent Explosive Disorder: Does Raymond Clarke III Have It?
Moms with Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder: 5 Ways to Help Your Loved One Heal
Robinson Curriculum: Saturday is a school day
Yes. You heard it right. Saturday is school day when you are using the Robinson Curriculum. I understand the logic behind it. Dr. Robinson believes that “time off” makes it hard for our brain to gear up for knowledge. His analogy is the two months summer vacation each year. Don’t you feel so much disoriented and not up to speed with school work when you take long breaks? Some parents avoid that by taking summer classes or academic camps.
I have tried in the last 9 months to push the kids to study on Saturday without much success. We have been making Friday, our TGIF, that our system is just used to doing other stuff on Saturday. Each week we try but we just can’t make it work for our family.
My husband sleeps in on Saturday. I won’t blame him. He lacks sleep on weekdays. The children like to sleep mostly around midnight every Friday.
I think the reason it is not working for our family is because it has become a “habit”. Over so many years, Saturday is not a school day . It is very difficult to train our brain to think otherwise.
If you do not know anything about the Robinson Curriculum, you might be interested in this article:
A Self-Teaching Method in Homeschooling: Robinson Curriculum
The Agony of those Who Loved People with Borderline Personality Disorders
Even though I want to shift gears to write about many other topics, my readers are urging me to continue on because they have found validation in my articles. My articles confirm their grief and mourning for their Borderline loved ones who they continue to love. Yet, they are slowly becoming bitter. They are tormented with thoughts that they could never get out of the endless cycle of chaos. They clamor for peace in their lives. And those that have successfully escaped it are like prisoner-of-war victims. They feel completely scarred. There is relief yet they are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Their stress levels are going down. However, it is not easy to move on with their lives. A great number of years, they were dealing with a person who attacked their manhood, pulled every string of goodness in them, and challenged their love. It is emotionally debilitating to get out of a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.
For more articles on BPD, please read the following:
10 Ways to Handle a Difficult Ex ? Focus on Borderline Personality Disorder
The Scariest Aspect of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Mother’s Day and Borderline Personality Disorder: When Mom’s an Emotional Terrorist
How to Spot a Girl with Borderline Personality Disorder
Developmental Trauma Disorder: Next High-Profile Mental Health Issue
5 Tips to Deal with a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
9 Sings Your Girlfriend Might Have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Intermittent Explosive Disorder: Does Raymond Clarke III Have It?
Moms with Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder: 5 Ways to Help Your Loved One Heal
The Emotional Scars of Children of Borderline Mothers
How can you calm a child when you feel so chaotic inside yourself?
In my personal experience, I have to force myself to calm down to effectively deal with a situation in the house with the children. If I am under a lot of stress, my attitude towards my children change too. I avoid them because I know that I may say some things that would hurt them. To confront them at the moment of dysregulation may be fruitful if you have learned some techniques to calm down and change your tone of voice. In any case, a child would know. A child just instinctively knows when you are really angry no matter how much you try to hide it. Children read our facial expressions. They know that “mean look”. Parents are everything for children. They adore us. They instinctively mimic us. Our tone of voice, one notch up in terms of volume, can cause panic in a sensitive child.
If your wife is Borderline, it will be foolish to think that a child can just handle it. How can their stress response be calm when the emotions of their mother are unpredictable? Where will they learn to regulate their emotions if their “model” is unable to control his or her feelings?
Children of Borderline Mothers are at high risk for trauma. I will never believe a Borderline Mother who come up to me and tells me that her case is different or that her child is very normal and able to handle it because she is a loving person in spite of the disorder. It is very hard to believe a woman, who acts like a child, shows tantrums, spews profanities that her child is calm and has a well developed stress response system. Are the Borderline mothers misinterpreting the “avoidant” personalities of their children? These children have learned to flee emotionally away from their Borderline mothers during rages and emotional dysregulation. Many people misinterpret it as coping. In reality, these children are “acting in” . You will see the effects of their dysfunctions when their puberty hormones set in. They are angry and will misdirect their inner disturbances in many unhealthy outlets.
For more information on these disorder, please review the following articles:
10 Ways to Handle a Difficult Ex ? Focus on Borderline Personality Disorder
The Scariest Aspect of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Mother’s Day and Borderline Personality Disorder: When Mom’s an Emotional Terrorist
How to Spot a Girl with Borderline Personality Disorder
Developmental Trauma Disorder: Next High-Profile Mental Health Issue
5 Tips to Deal with a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
9 Sings Your Girlfriend Might Have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Intermittent Explosive Disorder: Does Raymond Clarke III Have It?
Moms with Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder: 5 Ways to Help Your Loved One Heal
Why I Rave about Saxon Math in our Homeschooling
In 2002, I used Saxon 5/4 with my 4th grade boy. Ever since that time, he was getting high grades in math in public school.
Now, that we are using Saxon Math program again with my children, I can see where other parents may have a difficult time with this program.
It is challenging because you have to do 25-30 mathematical problems a day. In the elementary and middle grades, there is a 20 minutes MATH fact drill, 5-10 minutes mental math exercises, lesson (another 10 minutes), practice set problems, and the 25-30 exercises. It takes one hour and a half to do it. It is very self-teaching. There is almost no teacher help required. I personally allot 2 hours for Saxon Math with my children.
The concepts are explained very simply. The exercises spiral back to previous lessons and skills. Thus, you will not really forget the lessons as they are delivered in increments.
Yet, the difficult part for most students is to be “accurate”.
Many parents using Saxon Math just do even numbers one day. Some parents allow for odd numbers on another day. I did that with my 15 year old when she was in 9th grade last year. It was a huge disaster. She had to repeat the book this year. She was not able to master the concepts and skills required. And she hated it so much.
I had to insist to her because I believe in the program. But, does it work for ADD kids?
Honestly, ADD kids, if not medicated, may possibly have a hard time focusing on Saxon Math. It is very easy to get distracted because it is hard work. ADD kids like anything easy so they can go in their own world. They cannot pursue tasks that are super boring.
Saxon Math becomes boring because it is a discipline, a mathematical training and conditioning. Even if it is presented in bits and pieces, it does not have the “funfare” that would entice a child to stick with it. I took the risk and jumped into the program with 7 kids. We are doing Saxon 5/4, 6/5, 7/6 , 8/7, Algebra 1/2, Algebra 1, Precalculus.
The first few months were peaks on some days and valleys on others. It is not just consistent. On good days, the kids get 1-2 mistakes. On bad days, they get 6 mistakes.
Eventually, I realized that I have to be there when they are doing Saxon Math. I check their work. Yet, I cannot force them to have a good day. But, I noticed that if they try their best, they really do well. So how do you motivate kids for the rigors of Saxon Math.
I do not have the answer. I hate motivating kids for what will be eventually good for them. Bribing them to study is not my cup of tea.
So, to cut to the chase, I am like a policewoman in our house during our Saxon Math study period. I make sure they are on task. If they are distracted, I let them read aloud the problems.
This January, my goal is ”accuracy”. If other kids can do it, why can’t my kids do it. Well, in the past, when I was a student. I was not good in math. I did very well with teachers that were patient, approachable and clear. I discovered that mathematics is accurate. There are many ways to do a problem. Thus, many roads to lead to a solution. Yet, the answer is exact.
So, I always tell my children that “accuracy” is possible. It is very likely that if they will be able to discover where they are being “careless” and why they are making the same mistakes over and over again, they might have made an important discovery in their way of studying. What is the point that makes their mind careless? Why can’t they achieve accuracy when it is not impossible? Why can other kids be accurate and why can’t they be accurate? What are they doing right? What are they doing wrong?
They can wait until they are adults to figure this out or we can help these kids explore their weaknesses in an environment where you can cheer them up to do better. We can encourage them to try again. We can help them understand themselves.
Recently, I tried to do 5 exercises at a time in Saxon Math. I let them re-do those 5 exercises. I let them note the differences with their first set of answers and compare it to their second set of answers. I let them check if they copied the numbers right to be able to calculate it right. I make them re-read the word problems again to make sure they have the “givens” and the “mathematical sentence” right. I let them double check their decimal placement. I let them look if it requires a “$” sign. I let them take a quick look if they put the right “units” in word problems. These are common errors in Saxon Math that hinders them from achieving 100% error rate. It is very frustrating for a child to know how to solve a mathematical problem and to realize that their error was due to carelessness.
I give them credit for trying their best. I grieve with them on having the right process and the wrong answer. The hardest part is encouraging them that there is a purpose for to this “accuracy” thing.
For my 16 year daughter doing Prealgebra 1/2 she finally is getting 100% accuracy for the last four days. We initially tried doing exercises 1-30, and then re-doing it and checking the difference. She had 1-2 errors using this technique. So when I switched to every 5 exercises, her error rate went to zero. Well, except today. We figured it was because she has tonsillitis.
I tried the every ” 5 exercises and then check” method with my highly distractible son and it is not really working for him. He memorizes his previous answers which defeats the purpose of the re-check.
I’m afraid I had to let 4 kids start from the beginning of the lesson for various reasons. The 17 year old started on Saxon Algebra II and gave up. So, I had him do the placement test and he is on the Saxon Algebra level. So far, I am not getting feedback yet on this.
My 16 year old volunteered to start over again with his Precalculus after being stuck somewhere.
My 12 year old started Saxon 7/6 from the beginning again after showing severe erratic scores. I just learned a few days ago that he forgot to multiply two-digits which was extensively covered in Saxon 6/5.
But, we are not giving up because I am not allowing them to give up. If I had Saxon Math when I was younger, I would have done better in Math. I mean, I would have felt confident with my mathematical skills. In Saxon Math, the method gives you considerable confidence that you can tackle math problems because the repetition makes mathematical calculations automatic.
Detractors say it discourages word problem solving. For me, it helps the kids see “patterns” in identifying the appropriate mathematical sentence and solution for the word problems.
So, that is our life in Saxon. And, yes, despite being challenged with my children, I highly recommend it.
My bottom line with this long post is Saxon Math is what “strengthening, conditioning, endurance” exercises are to our body. It is a discipline to achieve accuracy, endurance and confidence to make the mathematical part of our brain invincible and strong.
TO know more about the “Self-teaching Method”, read my article on
A Self-Teaching Method in Homeschooling: Robinson Curriculum
iPad – Is it my dream digital book reader?
People close to me know that I am a MAC convert. I removed myself totally from Bill Gates’ window systems for two years now. I have an Imac. My oldest son in college is not totally convinced, he still enjoys his Windows applications, laptop and operating system. He actually makes money troubleshooting PCs in his college, thus, his future employment will depend so much on the consistent technological outcome of Window-based PCs in the market.
Who wants a PC after having the MAC experience? My iMAC is so stable. It has many limitations but the ease and simplicity surpass the PC. So when the Ipad news came out today, I was so thrilled.
I have been watching closely the performance of many E-book readers. Sony Kindle has been doing fantastic. But, I am convinced that I am going to own a digital reader one day. I love books. To have access to books in an instant, where ever you are in the world is amazing.
My husband said he would rather buy me a new laptop. Why can’t I just download it to my computer and read the books online?
The answer is “eyestrain”.
The digital book readers are made differently than computer systems.
Well, sorry to mislead you… but I have no idea what I am talking about yet but I would sure let you know when I can touch my future “iPad”. My Iphone is my favorite gadget in my life aside from my iMac and Grand Piano but I wouldn’t mind having an “iPad” to read a book. Mrs. Treasures would love to have an iPad. Is my loving husband reading this blog?
On Being Grateful
Daughter gave me "I love you" pancakes for breakfast
My 16 year old gave me a pancake breakfast yesterday shaped as “I love you”. Her sweet gesture helped me ponder about being grateful. My daughter took time and effort to prepare me this special kind of breakfast. I received it as a sign of being grateful, an outcome of a desire to serve. (Hopefully, there is no string attached to this good deed.)
I went to mass this afternoon. It was a beautiful concelebrated mass by the Archbishop and several other priests in our Diocese. They never announced that the Archbishop would officiate today’s mass. So, I feel myself blessed to partake in this service considering so many holy priests are present.
The homily was about being grateful: To be grateful in areas where we are called by God to serve. As a mother, our vocation is our family (our spouse and children and our elderly parents). Are you grateful for your children even when they bombard you with growing up pains? Isn’t it hard to remain grateful when it is easier to complain and whine about our current situation?
If we are confident of our faith, we would always be grateful. For the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, if we truly believe, already explains our destiny. To trust God is to be grateful for every little thing that He allows to happen to us. If we have faith on why Jesus rose from the dead, we would be grateful that He has come not only for the good people but largely for the sinners. If we are grateful for Jesus’ sacrifices and sufferings, we would be happy for every sacrifice that we have to go through for our children.
It is easy to lose our trust in our spouse and family. It is very easy to go into despair. We are quick to whine about our discomforts in our lives. St. Basil said that in our bodily ailments, we go to the physician. For more serious treatments, we go to hospitals. St. Basil hopes that we will never reach the “stage of melancholy”, the state of sadness that is beyond remedy, for those in despair do not want to admit the need for a physician to help them. St. Basil said “pray that you do not become afflicted with extreme despair, characteristic of men in the present time and avoid those whose reasoning faculties are sound.”
A son or daughter, in his or her state of misery, will not listen to the parent’s sound advice. It is easier to blame their mothers and fathers for not having a big room, not enough closet, not enough toys, money and endless grievances. Instead of being grateful, they are drawn to the miseries of their lives.
We can be grateful if we ponder on “service”. How can we better serve our spouse, our children, our parents, our neighbors instead of complaining about them?
The more we put our vision to serving those closest to us, the weakest in our families, our spouses, our parents – the better we can feel our gratitude towards our Lord.
Praise God for having the opportunity to serve … be grateful for your loved ones in your midst, for it is through them that you will serve God.
