How would you distinguish “Vocations” from “Missions”?
This is our topic in our recent Legion of Mary meeting. Our spiritual director stated that Vocation is your sacred identity from God.
You can either be a priest, a brother, a consecrated single person or you can enter into a marriage vocation. Each of these vocations requires a “vow” and a sacrament.
What about those single individuals who are living “single-blessedness”?
It seems that they are floating around without any defined identity from God? Did God intend “single, unmarried” people to just live without any Divine purpose?
Quite hard and controversial questions.
In my sphere, I have many relatives who are unmarried but very Catholic. In the Philippines, there is a growing number of women who are becoming “old maids” because of the ratio of men over women tipping in the men’s favor.
But, it makes sense that these single people must find their sacred identity from God. They must discern what is the Divine Purpose of their state of life.
I would imagine that these single people where taking care of their immediate family by working for them. They might also spend a considerable time taking care of a sick family member. There might be many personal reasons and we cannot rush into judgment about their state of life.
But, what if they remained single because of a past “wound” that wouldn’t heal? It could be from a relationship that did not blossom. It could also be because they are looking forward meeting a future spouse. And, they are waiting and waiting…
What do they do in the process?
They probably make themselves busy by working all the time. They probably are very lonely.
What prevents them from consecrating their “virginity” to God? or their single life in the service of God?
Are they confusing “their earthly missions” and their “vocations” as the same thing?
There is a difference.
A mission is your external purpose. It does not give you your internal identity in the eyes of God. You might have a mission to take care of your parents when they were sick and this is the reason one must have forgone marriage. But, after your mission is done, you are set for another mission in life. It never ends.
But, your vocation is how God is calling you. Are you being called to be a priest, a religious brother or sister, a nun, a deacon, or a lay consecrated person? Or is God calling you to live your life as a spouse to another individual in the sacrament of marriage?
If none of these vocations are in your life right now, perhaps because you are student, then your vocation at the moment is to be a student while you are discerning the vocation to which God is calling you.
But, if you are passed the age of being a student, perhaps it is about time to seek God in solitude and in a spiritual retreat to find where God is calling you.
Who are you with respect to God? This is your sacred identity. This is your vocation.
My 19 year old teen and my husbands are proponents of donating their organ when they die. Both of them ask me a couple of times if I will do it. I said “No!”. But, if the situation comes up and I will be asked to donate my organ for a charitable purpose, why not?
My disagreement with this issue is not because I do not want to save a life. I like to help. But, with the current mindset of our society, I will vehemently reiterate that there is an issue on who is considered “Dead”. What will define clearly when a person is dead or ”dying”?
Some of these organizations dealing with organ donors are profit seeking. There are many dark activities in Third World countries where people are killed to get a fresh organ for a medical need. Sometimes, they can go that far.
To donate your organ is a noble act. Please do not let me discourage you. But, I would want to do it if the society I am operating on respects “human life” first.
Read the article below on how a noble act can become abusive without the proper check and balance.
In one of my private prayer moments, I got an inspiration to use music for our homeschooling. I ran this idea by my husband and spiritual director. And, since they did not verbally disagree, they have no clue on how this will work.
One morning, I got my adult piano books and I told my 14 year old son to read through a unit and see if he can self-study this. I also told him that he may be surprised but he will be more predisposed to studying his math course (Algebra) after this piano practice session. Thus, I corrected him and guided him through the lesson. Not only did he sounded good, he also finished his math lessons quicker than normal.
And so continued our piano lesson journey. After breakfast, I would let him practice his piano lessons for an hour then I would let him proceed to his math course.
Have you heard about the Cimorelli Band? If you are tired of the trashy lyrics in your child’s music and you can’t get them to classical music, you might like to veer them towards this band. The Cimorelli Band is composed of 6 talented girls performing top hits with clean lyrics and positive messages. They have a unique 6-part harmonies that can surely tickle the fun part in you. You might also be interested to know that these 6 girls are part of a large family of 11 kids. Way to go CimorelliBand! May the Lord take you to a higher ground and bless you in your music projects.
Do you experience your blood pressure rising when dealing with a difficult child every now and then?
One morning you wake up and without even any interaction with your difficult child, you feel blood rushing from your shoulders to your neck to the back of your neck. Your difficult child can give you a negative vibration such as this.
You rationalize these physical symptoms because you want to give your difficult child a fair chance. You restrain yourself from reacting negatively or unfairly. You distract yourself with other tasks at hand. In reality, your difficult child is beginning to show some annoying behaviors. However, you resolved to be patient. You remind yourself that you must keep your promise not to be irritated at your difficult child over this trivial matter.
However, your difficult child can wear you out towards the middle of the day. You find yourself correcting the situation you are in with him or her. You either reprimand or you let your difficult child get the flack of his misbehaviors.
What bothers me with a difficult child is their ”fish-brains”. No word like that in the dictionary but it is a term I coined for my children when they are clueless to what they are being reprimanded for. They forget the issue like they have Alzheimer’s. But, wasn’t it just a few weeks ago when you explained the issue to them? All of a sudden, because the day is different, a little different time of the day, what you told them about a certain issue does not hold true anymore.
For example, an elderly lady in our parish told me that my 10 year old boy keeps running along the hallway, uses items in the Church kitchen, and gets some snacks without permission. Well, of course, my husband and I talked to our boy and made sure he understood that the Church property must be respected.
Did my 10 year old get that?
It may seem so. He looked remorseful and pitiful. But, next week when I was busy talking to some parishioners, he still did it again. My husband and I talked to him to make sure he got it. However, he did the same thing each week to our dismay.
What do you do next?
Yes, I felt like exercising the Proverb verse “Spare not the rod”. Yes, we gave him some logical consequences. But, the only thing that would work in this situation is just making sure he is in view all the time so you can supervise and correct him as soon as possible. You would expect more from a 10 year old but at this current time in his life, he still needs our watchful eyes.
It is the same scenario with our older children. They do some behaviors that are pretty disappointing. You know they are troubled but since they are over 18 years old, we can only hope that listen to our counsel and turn around their lives.
But how do you love a difficult child, the strong-willed one amidst you? How will you love the child who continues to act against your wishes behind your back? How will you love the child that seems so troubled but ignores your counsel?
My spiritual director gave me a very good insight on how to continue loving this child. He asked me to meditate on the Sacred Heart of Jesus and let Jesus teach me to love this child. And, if I can’t at the moment love this child, due to the horrendous deeds they do, ask Jesus, to love this child for me.
This video has been gaining viewership like a virus. It has history in it. It reminds us that the youth these days (especially in California) found it difficult to remember Hitler and what he did. In Germany, no one can deny the atrocities of Hitler or you will go to jail.
However, if you stroll around Hollywood Blvd, there are a sprinkle of Nazi adorers who openly proclaims their love for Hitler.
When the interview asks public school students of how much they know about Hitler, almost none of them have an accurate picture of who he was and what he did. They remember the mustache though.
This makes us think that if they cannot remember what he did, then it will be forgotten.
Hitler, killed millions of Jews and the lessons learned do not stop there. At that point of history, the Jews were not seen as “human”. Germans believed the “lie” of Adolf Hitler that the Jews do not deserve to be called “humans”. Hitler focused on brainwashing the youth to this idea. Thus, a holocaust happened.
Similarly, Americans, especially the youth are again brainwashed into another “lie”. It now tells them that the fetus in the womb of a pregnant mother is not really a baby. And, in this video you can can see how after the teens were reminded of the abuse of power and the resulting massacre of the Jews under the hands of Hitler and his army, the teens were convinced that indeed an injustice was done to the Jews.
Shifting the topic to abortion, the teens were easily confused. “Wait… abortion and the Holocaust of the Jews are not the same.”, they muttered.
Clearly, this is the world we are in. We are starting to be deaf to the holocaust and massacre of the unborn. We are brainwashed because it is hiding under a “law” that protects the right of women to choose.
With the new technology of ultrasound, it is beginning to be harder to prove that this “thingie” in a mother’s womb is not a baby.
For those, who still do not believe abortion is murder, you wonder?
The blame on this issue should not rest on the mothers undergoing the abortion. The blame is on us. We are not doing enough. We are like the world when the Jews were slowly being killed. Our attitude is “I am not sure if it is wrong.”
“To console as to be consoled” is part of the Prayer of St. Francis.
I really could not make a distinction between spiritual acts of mercy versus corporal acts of mercy. Both of them are charitable acts as far as I know. It was only when I joined the Legion of Mary in our parish that I truly understood what spiritual works of mercy was all about.
For this post, I will write about spiritual works of mercy as I have come to know about it.
When I started being a member of the Legion of Mary, I already recognized a deep desire to console “the elderly” in the nursing homes. It must be that I went through a ” mid-life crisis” kind of episode. Cognizant of the fact that I am aging, being a “senior” is not that far away. Another possible reason for my desire is because I miss my mother so much. She lives ”several thousand miles away, that is, 4 days of car drive, a half day airborne time and$650 off-season plane fare ticket away. Thus, as a daughter I have this urge to be with her and console her especially that my father passed away last year. Between the two of us, my mom really do not have much time on earth. Well, on second thoughts, that is a false assumption because my grandmother is now 103 years old and still alive.
When I joined the Legion of Mary, I felt “called” but I just didn’t understand if the calling was subjective based on my own inner desire to connect to the elderly because of my inability to be with my mother as often as I would want. Or is it to catch a glimpse of what the “elderly” life is all about so I would be able to anticipate how my life will be in the future?
Knowing me, it will be for both reasons. I like to “anticipate” things before it happens. I like to isolate “variables” so I can have more control of the future. I rarely want to be caught off guard on many issues of life.
Thus, on my first nursing visit assigned to me in the Legion of Mary, I met Katherine H. at B. center. She had Alzheimer’s Disease and she was wheel-chair bound. My children and I found her in her room playing with cross word puzzles. We tried to engage her but she just stared back at us, confused but with a ready smile.
I asked her how she was doing. No reply, just a smile.
I asked her if she likes her stay at B. Center. No reply, just a smile.
I asked her if any of her family members visited her lately. No reply, just a smile.
I asked her how many grandchildren she has. No reply, just a smile.
I asked her if she was in pain. No reply, just a smile.
Because I want to set a good example to my teens on how to talk to the elderly, I was patient and kind, even if I am starting to be frustrated with the lack of response. I just feel embarrassed that I cannot reach her.
I must not be asking the right questions. Truthfully, it was my first time.
I tried to ask her if she wants to pray “Hail Mary” with us. To my amazement, her eyes lit up. She said “yes”. She gave a joyful smile. She said the “Hail Mary” prayer with ease and confidence. With that peace and gladness, I found Jesus for the first time. There was no doubt in my heart, that Jesus was with us.
We headed out of the nursing home to visit another elderly patient in another nursing home a few miles where Katherine lived. On the way, my son JJ and I were discussing how peaceful Katherine was in our encounter. However, JJ told me that he is just my driver and he had no intentions of being an active Legion of Mary anyway. For some reason, I did not argue with him. But, I wanted to coax him more to support me in this charitable endeavor. But, I hesitated and kept this thought to myself.
We arrived at the room of Antonietta V. She was surprised. Her mind was very alert as she complained about a pain in her leg. I asked her many questions and she received it as “control”. She responded with “words of advice” cautioning me that she has been through a lot. Then, I listened more closely to her and decided that I will just affirm whatever she wants to say.
As I listen intently to her, my world turned into microseconds where each word she is uttering suddenly had an impact in my heart. She was saying to me something but I was receiving it in a majestic way. Then, it was not her talking to me anymore and I recognized the voice of Jesus. It is not a human audible sound, but something that was spoken in my heart. ”Do not force him to join you. Let him do it in his own time. ” I actually felt it was Jesus telling me this. Why? Remember this was what I was hesitating to tell my son, JJ a few minutes before we entered Antonietta’s room: on whether I should use my parent’s prerogative to force him to join the Legion of Mary?
On our first visit for the day, I knew that Jesus was there in the midst of these elderly patients. I found Him when I recognized “peace” in Katherine and when Antoniette answered my inner struggle with my son JJ. Thus, eager for a next encounter with Jesus, I started to look forward to my next nursing home visit.
Well, if you want to find out if I was able to change the mind of my teen JJ, I did not even try. He continued to be participate and amazingly he was always the favorite of the senior residents.
To summarize my first post on the Legion of Mary, I came to “console” these elderly patients and it turned out, I was the one who was consoled. The words in scriptures came to life to me that day when Jesus said “Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do unto Me.”
I quoted the vocation director of the Maronite Monks of Adoration with the following insight:
“God is reality. That is the real thing. God himself. When you live a life without God, you call that the real world. But that is the illusion. That is why life is frantic and crazy, because they are missing the one thing that is real.
Give yourselves to God and Let Him use you as His instrument.
This week is the so-called “birthday week” of my first born son. For 21 years of his life, I would consider him my problem child. It was because nothing I do comforts him. He was demanding from me so much: time, attention, toys etc.
From the moment he was born, we were forced to separate because I developed an extreme blister-like allergy from the antibiotics they gave me after my C/S section. I recall the torture of being away from my first baby. I wished the OB-GYN would have been knowledgeable enough to refer me to a dermatologist so she can make her own diagnosis but she didn’t.
My brain was so foggy that I was depending on my mother to make that decision for me. I do not recall where my first husband was at that time. He was dealing with the reality of a new responsibility perhaps. But, I do not understand why no one stood up for this baby and told the doctors that they can take care of my baby while I was sick with this contagious disease. How can my parents or his father not see that this baby needs me? And, in my desire not to infect my baby with this undiagnosed skin disease, I chose to keep him safe. I thought the hospital nursery was a safe place.
This was the first risk that I took in my first born’s life. The separation was critical to his normal attachment development.
At 24 years old, I was naive and too dependent on my parents. I was too immature.
This story could have been unheard of in this age and times, but it did happen. Upon reflecting on it, I realized that there are many things we do to our children that we are ignorant about.
But, no need to sulk about it. The damage has been done.
As I reflect on his birthday this August 04. I remember that I love this boy so much and I love him with the same intensity as 22 years ago. Only this time, he appreciates my love for him. Early this year, God delivered him from the enemy’s hands and all my complaints about him vanished gradually. At last, I have the son that God intended me to have.
After he reached the age of 7, he displayed symptoms of so many disorders. It has a semblance of ADD or Attention Deficit Disorder and in his adulthood, he displayed so many symptoms of Reactive Attachment Disorder. Really, I have no clue. Knowing what I know now, it could just be an “evil spirit”.
Just like any new mom, I tried to find solutions for him by reading lots of books. What happened? Somewhere along the lines, I was not careful in what I read. I brought in “new age” solutions. I really did not check the authors and their background. As long as they sound good in print and their ideas contain new strategies to help the behaviors of my son, I bought into it. I was ignorant of the dangers of these so called “self-help” books freely available in the bookstores.
Though I did not leave the Catholic Church and stayed closed by, I did not live an exemplary virtuous life. I was always trying to be pious, but it was a confusing world. I prioritized the demands of the secular, material world.
I went into higher studies and was promoted to the career ladder. It felt good to be accomplished. I felt I was above the clouds when my work allowed me to travel around the world. I thought this was what God wanted for me.
I thought…
But, I never listened to God. At least, I never attempted to silence my heart and listen to His voice.
Since there was no major obstacle, I thought this was God’s plan for me.
I did not realize that, I pushed that “life” on me. I just hoped God will agree to my plans.
My foolish pride tells me, this is the reason God gave me brains, so I can plan things and know what is best for myself and my family.
WRONG!
He gave you brains to figure out His Divine Plan for you. He wants to you to acknowledge that you are nothing without Him.
After going through this roller coaster ride called “LIFE”. I came to know that God can strip you of everything just because He loves you so much.
Some people have to be stripped off material wealth, some people have to be stripped of their main employment, some people have to be stripped off the opportunity to have children.
We all have different “crosses” in our lives.
God wants you to get out of the “roller coaster” ride that can seem out of control sometimes. He wants you to get off that and seek a less “cluttered” life.
De-clutter your life. Or else, you cannot hear God.
Prioritize not your priorities but the priorities of God.
Whatever you need to handle the “disorders” in your child is in God’s hands. You must let Him touch you and your children first. Rest on His Hands, for as long He needs you too. Be patient, because He has kept His promises through all ages.
In 2008, Susan Boyle, a devout Catholic in a cluster of villages in UK, stunned the audience with her vocal performance at the Britain Got Talent Show. She performed “I Dream of a Dream”.
In 2011, a young Korean man had a similar fate. Orphaned at 3, he raised himself after being physically beaten up by gangs in the streets of Korea. He joined “Korea’s Got Talent” and astounded the audience with his performance.
Both Susan Boyle and this young Korean guy came from humble beginnings just as our Lord was born from poverty. Yet, we know now that Jesus, a baby in the stable, is God the Son. Not many Jews were able to recognize Him because He was sent to this world in humble beginnings.
There are many around us who seem “little” and almost with no worth to us. We do not enjoy looking at them – the homeless, the beggars and those people lining up for food in the food pantry. They look repulsive. Our society has convinced us of certain standards in beauty.
However, time and time again, God reminds us that our aspirations to be always beautiful or to make everything around us palatable and livable, become meaningless to Him. Because God does not measure His love for us through our “successes” in life.
God loves us in His own unique ways. Our annoying neighbors who keep not minding their own businesses, those criminals in prison who are serving their sentence, the unemployed men and women who fall in despair looking for a job, or our family members who are struggling with sins – God loves them all so much. In time, those people we look down because they are not as Catholic as we are, God will pluck them out and make them “huge”. One day, their Catholic Faith will leapfrog and they will be ahead of us.
Have you seen the elderly in your midst lately? They struggle to walk and they are constantly complaining of pain. Yet, Jesus can work through them. Jesus gives us an opportunity to serve them. Jesus said “Whatever you do, to the least of my brethren, you do unto Me.“
What have you done to the Susan Boyle’s around you – those middle-aged women that looked funny with their unfashionable style of dressing and makeup? Did you help them get out of their loneliness? What about those youth that have an absence of guiding parents to nurture them? Did you just pass them up, hoping someone like a youth counselor will help them?
What did you do with those babies who are being killed on a daily basis because our nation cannot be united on what it considers a “human life”? Those are the least and that is what we do to our Lord.
So hard to change our society, when the enemy works 24/7 to make sure we accept the lie that He puts in the minds of many Americans. American Pro-Choice supporters sing the same mantra over and over again: those babies fringe on the freedom of American women and these women have rights.
We will all come to realize that we live in a brutal world if people will be enlightened on the atrocities of “abortion”. Just as how society was brutal to Susan Boyle and this Korean guy, we continually ignore the “rejects” in our midst because we live in a “comfortable convenient world”. We operate on a daily, busy work regimen that we put off helping out people and consider this as a “once in a year” event and not a daily one. We pray for them but we do not really do anything for them. There is just no time. Perhaps, next week? or the next?
Really, when will you ever act on this call to “serve God”?
God calls us everyday, yet the world has made us deaf. Thus, the only way to hear Him and His calling is to declutter our time schedule. We must slow down on the material calling of society and run towards the Catholic Church, who remains to be filled with the “set-up” to serve the least.
