Happy Birthday Father!

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I love the father-daughter relationship that developed in my daughter and my husband.   She consoles her parents so much with her love and deep faith in God.  Even if she is miles away in college, there is not a single day that she shares her ups and downs.

It is easy for her siblings to be envious of her innocence.  Yet, this is the grace that was given to her by God.

I told her not to settle for less in her romantic interest.  For the man for her will have to be almost a saint to even come close to her father.  We cautioned her with the lures of a workaholic man or a man who puts work first before God.  Or a man who prides himself with work versus his relationship with God.  We are praying for her future spouse, small caps spouse or big caps Spouse.  It does not matter to us, as long as it is the choice of our Lord for her.

I am posting her sweet birthday note to his father.

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Dearest Father,

Being here in college over 3,000 miles away from home has been a challenge. I have learnt so much while I have been away. The beauty of life and it’s many blessings but also the hardships of life and many nights where you feel so alone. Flying all the way out to California and saying goodbye to home was the scariest thing I did in my entire life. Once I got on that plane I wanted to take back everything I ever wanted to do in life and run back into your arms. I was terrified- I had no idea what was going to happen or where my life was going. But my security(what I called home) was gone. I had to grow up and face reality, I needed to move on and go on this journey alone. But your words stayed with me. The words of encouragement rang in my ears and the memories of you lingered in my mind.

I remember, when it was my first day of preschool, I was too shy to go into the classroom. But you told me, “Cierra you have to do this. Everything will be okay. Go on, you got this Princess.” And you gave me a little push and I stepped foot into that classroom and I looked behind me and saw you smiling down at me and you gave me a nod. Within that moment I felt like I could take on the world.
Despite the fact I cried every other time you dropped me off at school, the first is the one I remember most. My first time I got bullied at school, you were there to comfort me. My first heartbreak- I was in the kitchen doing chorus and you looked at me and said, “Cierra whats wrong?” And without saying anything you knew exactly what was wrong. I ran into your arms like a little girl even though I was 18, and I cried and cried.

These moments and many more I will always remember- they are the things that keep me strong. Yes, truth is, I have no idea what on earth I’m doing with my life- but I think I’m doing a pretty good job trying to figure it out wink emoticon . I miss you more than words can say and love you with my whole life. You are my hero who saved me when I was seven years old. You had your hardships in life and I saw even though you covered it up with a smile. And the one thing that you taught me was having faith in God even though everything else is crumbling all around you. You are the strongest man I ever known. Who has a heart like no other.
Wish I could be with you. Happy Birthday!

Love your Princess,

 

Feb 10: St. Scholastica and Prayers of Love

Today, is a Benedictine Feast day of St. Scholastica.

Find out something about her today.   Read this article on St. Scholastica  from Cross of St. Benedict USA.

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3rd Grade Homeschooling and K5 Learning

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I was browsing the Internet for a phonics and math program for Ignatius.  And, I found this website called K5 Learning.

K5 Learning has an online reading and math program for kindergarten to grade 5 students. I’ve been given a 6 week free trial to test and write a review of their program. If you are a blogger, you may want to check out their open invitation to write an online learning review of their program.

Okay guys, stay tuned as we journey into this program and take notes on how their program can help my 8 year old in our study goals this year.    I am hoping that this will truly be a gem.

Career Plans of Your Homeschooler

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It is not my business accomplishments where I will be judged by the Lord, but in my motherhood and being a wife.

If you are going to ask my children if they would have a family or enter the religious life,  they would say that they will discern both.  But, what do their hearts say?

I honestly think that though my husband and I have raised them to be suitable for convent life and priesthood, I doubt if they can see themselves as  being a nun or a priest.

The lure of family life feels comfortable for them more than community life.  They could not grasp community life no matter how much I will try to explain it to them.   We are closed friends with many priests and nuns, but  in their minds,  the community life is a discipline structured life.  They want more freedom instead of just thinking about God all the time.

Again, family life brings warm cozy feelings of your childhood.  And, most of your peers think in the same way – that the religious life is simply unattractive.

Thus, I can only do so much.  I like that they are not openly averse to the idea of being priests and nuns.  I also like that they enjoy the vocation retreats.

But, in my perspective, I need to rely on God to show them the way.   For I am so imperfect to lead a soul to God on a daily basis, what more to lead them to a vocation such as the religious life?

Happy New Year 2014

It has been months since I last posted a decent article.  It has been a busy year.  But, in retrospect, we had such tremendous blessings in 2013.  To name it one by one will take forever, but the most important blessing we have received is becoming a  Third Order Benedictine also called an Oblate.

My husband, my daughter and I made a solemn promise before the Eucharist  to live according to the Rule of St. Benedict.  Since that time, our life changed.  We have attained so much peace.

Like as St. Benedict prescribed, we pray 7 times a day.  He believed that we should pray unceasingly and he described the hour and the content of those prayers that will punctuate your day.

We thought we would be losing time but instead, we felt our time multiply.

We ended 2013 with our  usual Filipino Tradition, an article I have written in 2009 summarizes this called “How to Have a Unique New Year Celebration” .

We also went to Holy Mass at 11 pm and followed it with Eucharistic Adoration at midnight.  It was very peaceful.

The best thing is my children looked forward to the New Year Celebration and the tradition of having FILIPINO food on the table.  They were so excited.  It is nice to see that on their faces.

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12 Round Fruits for New Year

The Filipino tradition states round circular stuff represent money, for me, it represents God in our lives. He created the world round and not square. For me, that tells something. The circle shape is more profound than we care to think about it. It is like God, the Beginning and the End but we cannot pinpoint and have no knowledge of the Beginning and the End, we just have an idea and a clue. Same goes with the circular shape – we do not know the beginning and the end, but God knows.

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Noodles represent “long life” and that is our inheritance from God – an abundant long life. It is the devil that wishes to STEAL, DESTROY and KILL. Thus, on this New Year’s Day, we will be reminded of our inheritance – we are meant for a happy, abundant life that can share boundless love to one another.

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PALITAW or white floaty sticky desserts. It floats out of the water and yes, it is another circle, and you put grated coconut (purity) and some toasted sesame seeds (golden) and it represents “golden pure blessings sticking on you all year round”.

I like putting this seemingly God-less tradition back to God.

Happy New Year!

Achieving Peace in the Chaotic World of Borderlines

It takes two to tango.  We can never solely blame someone with Borderline Personality Disorder that it is all their fault that is why you have no peace in your life.

A Borderline will always seek to engage you.  Some of us have separated ourselves from our Borderline loved ones for the sake of peace in our lives and in theirs.  It is a mutual giving and respect for their needs and happiness.

However, if things are going perfectly in their lives, the Borderline loved one is happy and will have no obsession to be with you.   It is only when something is amiss, even boredom, can lead them to you.

And, when they are ready to engage with you, they do not need your permission.  Having little sense of boundaries, they will storm your place without the usual etiquette .  They know they are not welcomed based on their past experiences, but they justify the unwelcome by gatecrashing the social boundaries that everyone understands except themselves. It empowers them with their so-called “rights” to their loved ones.

The healthy person in the relationship steps back and re-affirms the boundaries to their disgust and dismay.  Taking a risk after an abrupt decision to engage, they find themselves unwelcome and convince themselves that they are “ok”.  It gives them a false sense that they did something right, yet they feel the same old emotional garbage that makes them angry with their families and loved ones.    It a cycle of “hate, resentment and bitterness and rationalization.”   It seems there was never a growth on the direction of healing.  They are still holding on to the past hurts, when everyone has already moved forward to their healing and peace.

While it makes us sad to witness this,  we realize that it isn’t that they are not trying at all to be better and to make a headway in their lives.  In fact, the false sense that they are in a better place is the one the keeps them stuck to their old bitterness and resentment.

You cannot be better if you cannot forgive.  You can just suppress it for it is all over your face.  And, your body language says it all.  Without forgiveness, all the blocks to your healing are enforced.  And, you look happy to the world but in the secret depths of your heart,  you do not have the full freedom that our Lord Jesus is talking about in the Gospel.

The “F-bombs” in the Life of Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

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One of my blog reader wrote me a few weeks ago about his spouse who attacks him with profanities.  I know of some folks who do not see any wrong with spewing out “F-bombs” from their mouth.  They live a split life.  With their friends they appear to be accommodating and sweet, but at home they throw out profanities when they get surprise about something as simple as an item falling down the floor.  Or when they are angry, this is their way to show that they are really furious.

In a primitive sense, a Benedictine Abbott explained to me that this is barking.  It is common among men.  They bark to let the other men know that they are tough.  Thus, when you hear men sprinkle profanities in conversations, they are like dogs “marking” their territories.    It is even their attempt to belong and sound cool.

For women, it is the same way.   Among their girlfriends, they find it acceptable to once in awhile show intense emotions through their cusses.  It sounds pretty normal and again, cool.  They need to do it or someone might let them know they are too straight and holy.

These people are too self-absorbed that they are clueless that their lives revolve too much about themselves.   The impurity of their words  is like polluted water.  It stinks.  It is dirty.  It is ugly.

In demonic manifestations, the spewing of profanities is very typical.   To able to handle this with your Borderline spouse and loved one , you have to realize that whatever you do, you cannot take it for granted because it will affect you in a disturbing way.

You need to leave the scene to regain your peace.  You cannot engage, but instead flee.      The first intervention when your Borderline spouse talks in this way is to find your peace.   Not only is it abusive, it is very demonic.

For more articles on Borderline Personality Disorders and Spiritual Warfare, you may be interested to read the following:

 

How to Survive a Relationship with a Loved One with Personality Disorders

New Tips for Loved Ones to Handle a Teen with Borderline Personality Disorder

How to Spot a Guy with Undiagnosed Personality Disorder

Secrets to Handle a Child’s Temper Tantrum

Handling Borderline Personality Disorder Rages: 5 Secrets for Their Loved Ones

Borderline Personality Disorder and Compassion

10 Ways to Handle a Difficult Ex ? Focus on Borderline Personality Disorder

The Scariest Aspect of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Mother’s Day and Borderline Personality Disorder: When Mom’s an Emotional Terrorist

How to Spot a Girl with Borderline Personality Disorder

Developmental Trauma Disorder: Next High-Profile Mental Health Issue

5 Tips to Deal with a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

9 Signs Your Girlfriend Might Have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Intermittent Explosive Disorder: Does Raymond Clarke III Have It?

Moms with Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder: 5 Ways to Help Your Loved One Heal

Temper Dysregulation Disorder: The Proposed New Label for Children with Bipolar Disorder